Monday, May 4, 2009

A Modest Proposal

It is troubling to see the effects of deviance in religious belief as it plays out in the world. Violence with radical terrorist organizations killing innocents for the sake of their god, killing under the guise of religion. Churches and other places of worship discriminating against “immoral” members of society, attempting to force their view of what is morally correct on all people. Just look at the news, somewhere something is being done to discriminate against those impartial to religion or of a different religious perspective than another.

It is dangerous to allow such disagreement for the world, with its increasing arsenal of atomic weapons and nuclear missiles, is at stake if religious bickering is allowed to elevate. It is, however, an incredibly cumbersome and challenging task to attempt to resolve such discrimination and violence for there is generally no consensus as to which approach would be the most feasible and most logical. Nevertheless, the fate of the world relies on such a decision.
After extensive research, fact-checking, critical analysis, and discussion with experts, I feel confident in my knowledge on the topic. Having spent several years weighing out the various factors and intricacies involved with such an immense problem, I have developed a means through which the religious problem can be solved. Democracy finds its basis in the majority rules belief; when there is a majority opinion, there must be some logic to that belief and therefore it should prevail. To let a minority overtake the majority is simply undemocratic, unjust, and unfit.

Unity is the key to peace between the conflicting religious beliefs of the world. Were unity to exist, there would be no need for argument, the problem would be removed entirely from the root, never to grow again, and the world could thus live as one. Through my studies I have discovered that thirty-three percent of the world is of the Christian religion, followed by twenty-one percent Islamic, and then several smaller percentages of little consequence. Of the thirty-three percent Christians there are approximately 1,050,000,000 Catholics followed by 240,000,000 Orthodox Christians and then about 630,000,000 Protestants.
Having discussed the issue with several good friends, I have been well informed that requiring one religion is quite effective in maintaining crime and peace within society. Logic follows that because Catholicism makes up the greatest percent of the largest religion in the world, then the majority believe in the Catholic faith.

I will now propose my solution to the religious issue and hope that it will not face extensive criticism due to the nature and complexity of the issue and the lack hereto of any reasonable solution.

I have developed a plan by which the world and all of its constituents will adopt the Catholic religion; a plan through which international legislation will set moral standards with strict and unwavering penalties associated with misconduct. The pope will be reinstated as the new World Leader and those who refuse to comply with the rules and beliefs of Catholicism will be swiftly executed. All national governments will be overthrown and all national constitutions or contracts will be voided so to allow for the Pope and clergy to take over quickly and easily.

It should not be difficult to enforce Catholicism once in place for it will become the Catholics duty, as the majority, to stake out anti-Catholics and report them immediately. The penalties associated with breaking the code of conduct are harsh for a reason. People will fear breaking the rules and moral standards put in place and thus obedience will ensue.

Not only will my proposal solve the issue of religious animosity and hatred, it will lead to a moral cleansing that will result in less promiscuity among our teens thus less unwanted pregnancies. People will think more about having sex for they will have no choice but to deliver a baby once conceived, thus eliminating the irrational and irresponsible urges society so often falls prey to.
The world will be preserved through complete domination of the Catholic church for only the leaders of the church will possess weaponry. All current weapons will be confiscated and held in the Vatican, the new capital of the world. Terrorist organizations can no longer kill innocents for they will not have the means to do so. Those people who cling to their religion will not be given two shots; the first time convicted they will be put to death in order to maintain order, stability, and peace. The same goes for those who disregard the morality statutes which will disallow any form of homosexuality, ban abortion, and ban birth control.

I can think of no rational reason not to accept the said proposal for the advantages it offers are far greater than the disadvantages. There are some who claim that freedom of self expression is necessary, is the key to happiness, yet does this freedom really play out the way the idealists believe it will? I think not for it is human nature to try to inflict one’s own beliefs on another. There is an inherent superiority complex present among the human race; each person feels in their own self-righteous manner that he knows better than all others and therefore freedom of speech, freedom of expression, is not actually a working model. I wish to hear no more of the foolish plans advocating religious tolerance, acceptance of all people, separation of church from the doings of the government for these are hair-brained and ill-planned. I wish to hear no more about negotiation rather than violence, about letting others live as they wish to live, about living in harmony despite carrying different beliefs. These, my friends, are far too idealistic to ever thrive in our world.

Therefore, I leave you with my proposal, one of much research and development and one which I believe will be of the utmost effectiveness. As I am an atheist myself, I do hope that you do not believe me biased in my proposal for I will not benefit from it in the slightest.

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